Pyar’ority

These days everyone ranging from the sabziwala, our home staff or a MNC executive, are all apparently TOO BUSY, extremely busy to find enough time to shave, shower, return calls, meet family and remember their creator (be it through an action of prayer or act of kindness to HIS people.)

Well, this newfound socially being anti-social dilemma is not a newly invented one, it ages back to the stone age (let us assume.), I am BUSY is just another way of saying, YOU ARE NOT ON MY PRIORITY LIST (neither today, nor afterward), while fulfilling one DUTY, we use this phrase in order to neglect far more important responsibilities. To add to this BUSY person’s misery, he may actually be just BUSY & NOT PRODUCTIVE at all, nor is his task at hand keeping him duly happy or content with his less pleasurable life, it is in fact only demeaning his purpose of creation, no substance no progression, JUST BUSY.

It is an over rated term I believe just like I Love YOU, has lost its realism, sadly we seldom realise our true potent, the wealth of being amongst thoughts of gratitude & pleasure, we strive for filling “the lack of”, by struggling.. well, life in this short term world was never a substitute for giving UP this limited time for seeking fake happiness, which only enlarges the deeply rooted rotting vacuum in our selective spaces of melancholic departure, instead our busyness should delight us and fulfil us (like love failed in doing so, so did busyness.)

All act of kindness begins with another and all actions of love must begin with one ‘self.

If life were to be understood by me I would say I have understood the least of it, nor completely all versions of my own personality, nor other people, nor the true meaning of our term served here, nor time, BUT what is connective in these profound thoughts, is the entwinement of SELF. We can only realise, this is an illusion, a realm of egos, debauchery and the only solvent I see here is to submit.

Religion like love only completes essence via submission, absolute complete submission (not by control, nor by GIVING up of desires, no… none of that,) just by Faith, letting go of our ego self, once we submit only then we enter the second phase of existence.

Our oneness, our purpose and our inner divinity … all of the world’s that coincide and co-exist to create this beautiful realm of submission, and creates the best YOU.

One must learn to prioritize their priorities or in my words……. Pyar’oritise… so you never have to be too busy to do the right thing, to find true self, inner happiness and be the best YOU 🙂

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Facade

For someone who loves self-expression, the medium today is media of any form, blog, FM, Movies, drama or just a social media celebrity, but any voice which has some purpose, must find its way and carve a name for itself as a saleable brand, (I give importance to commercial viability because a voice may go unnoticed if prominence is not attached to it, the target may be missed.) I am one such defiant semi rebel, who feels the pain of self-actualisation a bit more than normal people perhaps.

I realised my creative bone back in my early childhood, I have been doing my own haircuts since the age of toddlers (almost), hair colors, makeup, revamping my facial appearance all the time with colored lenses, new look every now & then. I was not trying to camouflage my “bad looks” or covering up for a face I never had, I was just playing with dough & clay to say the least.

Handicrafts, arts, floral arrangements … well, that was the phase of creativity.. Soon after followed the VOICE, that had to be heard, I wrote for various magazines, blogs etc. But it was behind the mike of my FM channel, it was a profound feeling to be heard, I sensed the added responsibility and said what mattered, rather then being noise on air, I hopefully carved a small domain for myself where we spoke of the image of our country, shared experiences as proud countrymen, our topics were socially relevant (that is where my Sociology at Cambridge, assisted me a bit), I brought our unsung heroes out of their chosen or often giving darkness.

Makeup and the ability to transcend into another persona gave me immense delight for self though I have reshaped many broken esteems and shattered confidences by majorly pampering every paid/unpaid client, I have ever encountered (Ikhlaq and care makes a gigantic difference to people).

As an actor, the seeking of self and hiding of self continued (very diagonal in divide), I was not seeking fame & money, I was seeking an expression I lacked, I was trying to wear many masks enroute self-discovery. I wanted to know what gave me substance, where my voice held its own the fittest, how I could be of service in my small capacity to anyone, through which medium could I create a realm where the state of BEING met the state of KNOWING and being Known, but again as what or who??

It is the strangest paradox of duality which we set to pursue in our misled lives. Wearing many masks, we reveal bits of our hidden selves to strangers, that is stark nudity of self BUT with another’s character. How well we cover up our pain with a smile, entertaining people may be a source of connecting with the pain of many & watching it convert into a smile slowly, WOW… to be held responsible for that … HAHA what a fool we are the ones being fooled alone.. Laughter & Sadness are from the divine alone, I try to be a tool only.

Contradictory is my desire, as a sufi-like dervish… I would rather be known ONLY to my lord, my loved ones BUT I wish to known to the strangers alike, how strange is the case of the believer… only thy master knows the reasons. Focus is imperative toward success of any endeavour.

An actor may be a lost soul, a con, an identity thief, a compulsive liar, a clown or just a façade.

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Incarnate

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Humanly form of the divine is not a condemnable action; rather it is the truth of life.

  • To support my statement before I plunge forth, it is in Quran – He is in your own self, will you not then see’. (Az-Zariyat – 21). This is in Hadith-e- Qudsi  “I was a hidden Treasure then I desired to be known so I created  a creation (this cosmos) to which I made Myself known; then they knew Me.”

Man is rather a great creation, for the power of speech, perfection in internal multiple system functionality, the territory of lesser understood mind, power of speech, and the SOUL (the light of divine, amar of Allah swt if we dare say so, is HAQQ indeed) all imbibe, this almost divine creature, almost unexplored to it’s real self, as the search of self is an enigma since inception, indeed the best of the creator’s creation is man, if we understood half of self we may understand THE ONE who mastered us into manifestation.

We are limitless beings having a spiritual experience in a physical form for a temporary number of days in this dominion called Earth (yet to explore the millions of galaxies, planets, stars and secrets of the universe.)

We know very little and that leaves a whole lot of knowledge to be obtained, which is why ILM is superior than Amal, the delight remains so… if ILM is not converted to action it becomes lower then AMAL, and both are insignificant if EMAN is absent. Knowledge is light, and the ONLY power to connect with our SOURCE ( the Divine).

Incarnate, is an apt name for our workshop sessions based primarily on Confidence Building tactical formation of our personalities. There are many aspects to glorification of self, I believe the most supreme is, KNOWING and what supersedes that is BEING.

In our session we shall only guide you to seek your ownself, it is not a trivial task though admittance to a seeker of self in this session is a bid to grow beyond limited perception of self, to find the hidden treasure of self within, our hidden talents, our lost voice, our senses, appearances, all that I know of myself was a very limited information, now we are conducting this easy workshop, where we are agreeing to the willingness of growth of self, awareness of self and build our confidence in every manner to seek what gives us the meaning of life.

I hope we achieve as seekers what masters sought.

Fan Moments

IMG_2821In my short span on this planet, I have known myself to have been in awe of any heroic act of valor or be it kindness, whether in my awareness or either in my desire, I have had few encounters with real heroism, the first place I found this zing of strength in a person, was in my own heart of hearts, embodied in my mother’s immense will power & in my father’s resilience.  The beauty of human admiration does not have any boundaries (or does it), well.. I am just going to breeze through those few #Fan moments, not of my own self or my parents, but of any ordinary other human being, we call a STAR (the distant glowing untouchable admirable beam of light in this galaxy of millions of other stars, let’s say a SUPER STAR !!.)

For as long as I remember, I have been a movie buff, I enjoyed selling films at our neighbourhood film store, I bought movies from the once famous Rainbow centre in Saddar, I collected dozens of film (gossip) magazines and had an enormous VHS film collection, (yeah am an 80’s child). So much so, that I was named Nazea after the Late. Nazia Hasan (biggest ever pop legendary icon to have surfed our soil in the 80’s & blown away the Indians alike. Till date her music rocks.)

My 1st & forever favourite actor shall always remain the iconic Sri Devi (known as THUNDER THIGHS back then, despite her curves, she ruled the box office for more than a decade.),  I later fell connected with Pooja Bhatt (not majorly for her less profound acting skills or her lisp), but for her as a person, she was stylish, bohemian, still has a care-a-damn attitude and was always candid to the core, blunt & witty.

Well, way back in 2003-2007 there used to be the Karafilm festival  held in Karachi, in one of those glorious days I was almost always a part of the team (volunteer, or employee etc of a partner/sponsor co.), I was with an Account Manager at Fakhar e Alam’s agency when Pooja was supposed to Premiere Paap in Pakistan, well my COO wouldn’t allow me a leave so I left my PKR 25,000/- job 10 years back, to volunteer (usher, sell tickets etc) and just BE at the venue to have a glimpse of my HERO, well I did meet her & her dad plenty of times, BUT I never told her what a big #Fan I was of her’s , to which my sister told me how stupid I was to have gone through so much to just BE … and not even express my inner feelings toward my STAR, well I do not wanna be a part of a herd, I would rather be unknown then be known as JUST another #Fan… (to each his own weirdness, to me my Nazea’ness.)

The last #Fan moment was in Lahore, my wish came true when I was finally asked by the Living legend, SHAAN (the pride of Pakistan), an actor whom I have forever  admired (for his manliness, his good looks and Uffff those eyes and that voice, he is ALL man.) well I went specially to meet him just for a day in Lahore, and that meeting almost got shelved, as I was supposed to have been there anyway and this meet up was just a bit part of it, well the truth wasn’t known to my STAR. I am crazy in that sense; I would never even tell my beloved how special I feel he is to me.  I am a verbal introvert you may say, I can express well in writing I believe.
Anyway, the meeting did happen past midnight and there he was, Whoa I was shaking with nervousness, I couldn’t speak for a few minutes (YES .. minutes), I had to sip water before I uttered my first word, (at the risk of being taken as an ill-mannered *lady*, I said.. umm well .. It is YOU… ), as to explain why am at a loss of words, well like a gentleman, he said that, he was honoured and made me very comfortable and welcomed.

Meeting, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan (for whom I bunked office, with my sweet manager’s permission), Abhishek Bachchan, Rani, Ajay Devgan and soOOo many others, well I was never as star struck as I was with the one & only SHAAN.

A Fan may or may not disclose their feelings in words to face but I take pride in saying I am a #Fan to many, I wish to be someone’s HERO one time.